okay, i've been intending to write an update for so many times. believe it or not i actually clicked onto the 'weblog entry' page 3 times this week, but always end up closing the window again. well. a week of intense revision, followed by a week of intense exams, followed by a snow-in-march extraordinaire, and now amidst a sad week of results distribution. some surprises, not all pleasant, and some expected. i will save myself some embarassement and not publically disclose my results.

what else is there... not much, really. or perhaps my head is too confused to think straight. honestly, if world war three broke out, i would probably still be here, doing my ict coursework, or trying to understand why sodium and water makes sodium hydroxide.

anyway, so thats all for now, updates when my head becomes a little clearer...

Hush

The fog set early

Sulking skies hung

Mourning the death

Of your past

And your heart

Such blinding darkness

Screaming silence

Enveloped your

Wasted heart

And your tears

What am I to do?

I have no words

Not anymore

To dry tears

And heal pain

I watch over you

A mess of sobs

Waiting for dawn

To dull pain

Smile again

Hereby begins my two weeks in hell. Joy. Happy new year, indeed, one week off school, but instead of the cheery "Have a nice holiday!" from various members of staff - not that it's unappreciated of course - they might as well have said "Have fun in hell, don't forget now, revise till you drop dead, sprawled across your study desk in a puddle of foam and blood". Because that's the harsh reality of this so-called "new year break". The week we go back to school are our mocks, which i aim to rock, but for that goal to be achieved, yes, it'd be hard work.

SO. no more entry updates for a couple of weeks - and expect screams of joy on two Fridays from now. Oh, or screams of agony when my sponge of a brain has released all its soaked-up moisture of knowledge, only to realise that there's way more ICT to go... and 2 weeks time to do it...

Meanwhile, when I rot in hell, please do enjoy your half term breaks, while you can - good times don't always roll around, it's either by luck, or you gotta generate your own happy thoughts. Lastly, have a wonderful Chinese New Year, may good fortune come your way (that is, Best of Luck for all my GCSE/HK-public-exam-taker friends... and everyone else... well, hope you get tonnes of hongbao/lai si!)

went to the LittleStar art competition award ceremony today, most positively the biggest 2-hour-waste-of-time. it was held at chateau regalia, and today was surprisingly warm. chloe and i sat on the windowsill in the crowded, unventilated hall with everyone else (in our VIP spot, the Harrow Corner, mrs king called it) so it was not surprising that we started to become extremely bored pretty soon. oscar turned up too, a rather nice surprise. he's one of the gap year students from Harrow On The Hill. he's, eh... sorta cute. hahahaha. naw, i wont get wrong thoughts into my head, i dont think its right if i develop a crush on the guy who marked my english coursework for me. i aint particularly close to him either. he did spend a lot of the time taking pics of me though. ANYWAYS. mrs king and mrs hodgeson, the librarian, came too. and ranson and farthing dropped by, but i think they left pretty much the second they arrived. ranson did wave a special hello to chloe and i across the hall though. so, 23404985304 years later, my name was called (correctly, surprisingly) so i went up, got my glass star-shaped trophy and a goodie bag with tonnes of art stuff, and oscar took even more photos. its my first ever trophy, actually, so it did feel pretty good. i'll take photos of the day of the ceremony itself off him next week, but meanwhile, here are the pics i took:

and i've just finished ALL my english language coursework - BRING IN THE CHAMPAGNE!!!!! two of them are definitely A*, and as for the last one, well, i think i've perfected it enough to push it from a high A to an A*. meanwhile, fare thee well.

Warning: This entry is typed just to release the stress from the day, it is by no means compulsive reading. In fact, I think it would bore anyone to tears.

there is no doubt that technology has taken over the planet and brainwashed all human beings. except, of course, OAPs but thats a different story, the golden oldies belong to a different period of the earth's history. recently technlogy has also been a bitch to me - my mac is dying on me, and mr. ict technician told me that it's probably the hard drive that's affected so they'd have to take it to the repairs, and - yes, there is more - seeing as its over the 1-year-warrenty (by a month or three), if its seriously damage, it could cost up to a few thousand to get it repaired. if you think im heartbroken then you're wrong, because it is way too far from the truth. in reality, i think my heart blew up into billions and billions of smithereens and got carried away by the wind. that white baby is my life! imagine, a weekend - perhaps a week - perhaps a MONTH - without my beloved mac! o, woe is me...

and then of course you get the fact that despite having technology chucked around the house (as though semi-broken laptops and brand-new, unused ipod nanos were bits of dust), chloe decides to just not use them. by that i mean she never came online once tonight despite the fact that i have to talk to her, as well as that although she has a phone its forever on vibration - ringtones, are invented FOR A REASON - as far as i recall anyway.

but i suppose life's not all bad, there are always space for a bit of sunshine everyday, besides the coursework and lessons and deadlines and all. there's my winning 3rd place for the littlestar magazine art competition (indeed that does mean i kicked 18-yr-olds arses - my group bering the 15-18 one so down with y'all!), and getting my first ever A* in english - followed by two more - certainly doesnt feel bad either. ranson may have given me my first ever C in english last year, but i earned these three A* fair and square.

today had been really hectic, and i didn't have no free periods to rest. it went from music (we marked our practice paper which i failed miserably - pretty close to tears, i was - and doing half of another one), to ICT (working on coursework - chloe and i are still laughing while we can about it all - it is rather comical, how by now im meant to be evaluating while in reality i havent even completed analysing the problem. you know, comical in that depressing sort of way), to break which wasnt really a break (ran around trying to find jaime to reschedule my guitar lesson, and dropping off my laptop with mr ict technician, finding it impossible to say 'my screen kept freezing' in chinese and him finding it impossible to understand english, was definitely a problem), back to ICT, to english (ranson was in a rather foul mood, apparently a mixture of be tired herself, and tired of the class not working. except me, of course, she's been an angel to me since she snapped at me on tuesday and spent the rest of journalism club trying to make it up to me - i wasnt actually offended by it, its just typical her, but i think she felt really bad bout it.), to lunch (ranson got ellis (mr headboy), christina (cute, pretty, nice, lovable, etc etc etc.), kimmy (she's a bitch, i hate her, suck-up fucker, she got into oxford as well, what is this world turning into?), joseph, trina, chloe and i to interview this old harrovian (apparently we aint allowed to say 'ex-harrovian' coz theres a saying that when someone becomes a harrovian, he shall always be a harrovian) to be honest he scared me rather a lot. a somewhat awkward gentleman, doesnt talk much, makes crude sarcastic remarks, and certainly didnt smile a lot. and he went on about books and harrow london to the gap year boys and some history, with a toothless accent. he also mentioned that he does not understand eBooks - i did say, OAPs and technology dont mix.), to maths (junior maths challange, i kept falling asleep - literally - but i probably didnt get caught. if i did then no one told me off.) to activities, which im going to talk about, too.

Yuka and i had a meeting with ranson, discussing the matter of study leave. that went well, and ranson seemed to approve of it a lot, saying that it could probably be done and that she'll take it to mr. farthing. good. the first proper thing i did as Student Council. and its a good thing that it was ranson with whom we had to talk to as well, its easy talking to her, probably coz im used to it. her challenges are empty threats, and i had a clear enough idea of what she'd question anyway so i had a model answer prepared.

tomorrow, friday. i have to play at assembly, bizarrely - i never know how to spell that word, do correct me if im wrong. bright side is, i get to play the grand piano with a sign saying 'Do Not Touch' on it. well i was playing on it today after school, too, when chloe was in french and everybody else had left and the hall was in semi-darkness. its pretty enchanting, almost as though its a scene in some gothic tale, music in a dark, spacious hall, echoing against the walls and seeping into the darkest corners......... thats too much english coursework for me, and on that note, i'll sign off.